With this information, I give this advice out of mere personal experience, it is not based on some formal education! I think the lessons life teaches us are more powerful and correct than formal education sometimes!
That being said, I start by saying "Be Careful What You Ask For". You just might get it! One of life's cruelest of jokes is that we must work to pay for what we have and work to pay for where we live, but work sometimes doesn't pay for either!
Money is one of the biggest struggles in ANY relationship. The lack of or abundance of, it doesn't matter, it still is guaranteed to bring up struggles in a relationship that often times, only the strongest relationships can survive! That we can count on and it is called LIFE! It's how you choose to handle the struggle or issues that you can determine how well a couple will survive.
First, according to Dictionary.com, a COUPLE is defined as such:
cou·ple/ˈkəpəl/
Noun: Two individuals of the same sort considered together.
Verb: Combine.
Synonyms: noun. pair - brace - twosome - match - twain - dyad - two
verb. connect - join - link - pair - mate - associate - unite
Now that we have defined COUPLE, you can clearly see that being on the same wave length is essential to the verb of couple, to combine!
That means, we have to speak the same language when it comes to matters of the couple. Yes, we are different people, but without a few of the same thought processes, we simply cannot be a couple! We cannot say one person does or has more than another, that would be making the scales tip in one direction or the other and therefore, the couple is no longer a match!
When it comes to money, there is no difference. If we simply cannot get on the same page, there will be issues or struggles. Ok! Nana is done with the life lesson about couples.
Now, comes a lesson about money! Couples often argue over money. The one thing that you can always count on in life is, once a month bills will arrive in your mailbox or inbox and you must pay them! Simple? NEVER! You see, those bills come once a month, even when your bank account it empty. They don't discriminate between rich or poor, they don't even care if you are human! If you authorized the bill, you need to pay it. You would think that would be enough said.
However, it isn't. So, when Papa and I first got together many years ago, we found that our expenses sometimes exceeded our income. Does that ever happen? ALL THE TIME! So, to figure out who had to work and who would stay home with our little boy, we had to come to an understanding about our money.
First, we put pen to paper. We had one column of what we made each month and one column of what spent each month. Then, together, as a couple we decided who could make more working and who would be better off staying home. It was as simple as that. Naturally before children, we both had full time jobs. But one of us would have to give up time to stay at home with our son, or pay a daycare to do that same task.
So: Let's put pen to paper or type to internet blog somewhere in the universe!
Here is a grid that shows what expenses you could expect to incur, by the time you understand this, you will be laughing ridiculously hard at how these figures are NOTHING like what you have to experience in your lifetime.
These are expenses that you could expect to pay if you have one toddler. The amount could be staggering. In fact, this doesn't account for Christmas, Birthdays or any other expense that may arise, such as car breaks down.
Each month you have to re-evaluate these expenses, because you may have changes. Perhaps you get hurt and have to take time off work? Or your partner gets laid off. Something as simple as you get pregnant and now everything will change, perhaps even your rent because of having to find a bigger place.
That is the one thing you can always count on CHANGE!
So, you have to plan for that. Do you see an expense for savings? No, so you would have to budget that as well.
There are so many variables! Now you have to figure out what you bring in each month to cover these costs.
In today's economy, you can count on one thing, incomes are not extremely high for any jobs. In fact, in today's economy, as I write this blog post, there are tons of people without jobs and homes. If you have those two things, then you are ahead of the game, consider yourself lucky!
If you are not in the kind of job you would like to be in or you have a child and are considering a home based business, here are some things to consider.
First, child care can be expensive. If someone can, it may be to your advantage to stay home with the children until they are in school or work part time when your partner can fill in child care when you are away at work.
Median Family Income for our area in 2011 is $41,845! If you take the chart above and multiply by 12 months in the year, the total comes to $49,080. What happened????? Yep, we simply do not make enough to afford that type of living. So, we need to adjust!
Now, if you are a COUPLE, you should be figuring out right now where you can save! You need to come up with $7,235. If you cut child care costs out of the picture, you save $9,600. That means you and your partner need to work out how to care for children without having to pay someone to save money.
If you and your partner can sit down and carefully plan this together you will already have more than money can buy. You will have trust and that is worth so much in your relationship.
So, this is my advice to you, and I hope that before you ever read it, your relationship is strong and ready to handle money struggles. If not, I sure hope this has helped and that you go on enjoying your life, as it happens!
Love ya, Nana!
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