Be Careful What You Ask For!

I first must confess, I am neither a pro nor a novice when it comes to paying my bills! Yes, that is a true statement. After 21+ years with my husband, we have planned and planned, but one thing is for sure, LIFE Happens! That is one thing that Nana can always count on, Mariah! So to my little Mariah, here is a lesson that I hope you can read one day and understand.

With this information, I give this advice out of mere personal experience, it is not based on some formal education! I think the lessons life teaches us are more powerful and correct than formal education sometimes!

That being said, I start by saying "Be Careful What You Ask For". You just might get it! One of life's cruelest of jokes is that we must work to pay for what we have and work to pay for where we live, but work sometimes doesn't pay for either!

Money is one of the biggest struggles in ANY relationship. The lack of or abundance of, it doesn't matter, it still is guaranteed to bring up struggles in a relationship that often times, only the strongest relationships can survive! That we can count on and it is called LIFE! It's how you choose to handle the struggle or issues that you can determine how well a couple will survive.

First, according to Dictionary.com, a COUPLE is defined as such:

cou·ple/ˈkəpəl/
Noun: Two individuals of the same sort considered together.
Verb: Combine.
Synonyms: noun. pair - brace - twosome - match - twain - dyad - two
verb. connect - join - link - pair - mate - associate - unite

Now that we have defined COUPLE, you can clearly see that being on the same wave length is essential to the verb of couple, to combine!

That means, we have to speak the same language when it comes to matters of the couple. Yes, we are different people, but without a few of the same thought processes, we simply cannot be a couple! We cannot say one person does or has more than another, that would be making the scales tip in one direction or the other and therefore, the couple is no longer a match!

When it comes to money, there is no difference. If we simply cannot get on the same page, there will be issues or struggles. Ok! Nana is done with the life lesson about couples.

Now, comes a lesson about money! Couples often argue over money. The one thing that you can always count on in life is, once a month bills will arrive in your mailbox or inbox and you must pay them! Simple? NEVER! You see, those bills come once a month, even when your bank account it empty. They don't discriminate between rich or poor, they don't even care if you are human! If you authorized the bill, you need to pay it. You would think that would be enough said.

However, it isn't. So, when Papa and I first got together many years ago, we found that our expenses sometimes exceeded our income. Does that ever happen? ALL THE TIME! So, to figure out who had to work and who would stay home with our little boy, we had to come to an understanding about our money.

First, we put pen to paper. We had one column of what we made each month and one column of what spent each month. Then, together, as a couple we decided who could make more working and who would be better off staying home. It was as simple as that. Naturally before children, we both had full time jobs. But one of us would have to give up time to stay at home with our son, or pay a daycare to do that same task.

So: Let's put pen to paper or type to internet blog somewhere in the universe!

Here is a grid that shows what expenses you could expect to incur, by the time you understand this, you will be laughing ridiculously hard at how these figures are NOTHING like what you have to experience in your lifetime.

These are expenses that you could expect to pay if you

have one toddler. The amount could be staggering. In fact, this doesn't account for Christmas, Birthdays or any other expense that may arise, such as car breaks down.

Each month you have to re-evaluate these expenses, because you may have changes. Perhaps you get hurt and have to take time off work? Or your partner gets laid off. Something as simple as you get pregnant and now everything will change, perhaps even your rent because of having to find a bigger place.

That is the one thing you can always count on CHANGE!

So, you have to plan for that. Do you see an expense for savings? No, so you would have to budget that as well.

There are so many variables! Now you have to figure out what you bring in each month to cover these costs.

In today's economy, you can count on one thing, incomes are not extremely high for any jobs. In fact, in today's economy, as I write this blog post, there are tons of people without jobs and homes. If you have those two things, then you are ahead of the game, consider yourself lucky!

If you are not in the kind of job you would like to be in or you have a child and are considering a home based business, here are some things to consider.

First, child care can be expensive. If someone can, it may be to your advantage to stay home with the children until they are in school or work part time when your partner can fill in child care when you are away at work.

Median Family Income for our area in 2011 is $41,845! If you take the chart above and multiply by 12 months in the year, the total comes to $49,080. What happened????? Yep, we simply do not make enough to afford that type of living. So, we need to adjust!

Now, if you are a COUPLE, you should be figuring out right now where you can save! You need to come up with $7,235. If you cut child care costs out of the picture, you save $9,600. That means you and your partner need to work out how to care for children without having to pay someone to save money.

If you and your partner can sit down and carefully plan this together you will already have more than money can buy. You will have trust and that is worth so much in your relationship.

So, this is my advice to you, and I hope that before you ever read it, your relationship is strong and ready to handle money struggles. If not, I sure hope this has helped and that you go on enjoying your life, as it happens!

Love ya, Nana!

Happy New Year!

And There It Is! "NO"

For the past almost 2 years, my precious little Mariah has agreed with everything. From "Mariah, do you want to go to time out?" to "Are you the cutest little thing ever?". The answer is always a resounding "Uh Huh"!

We thought it was so hilarious to hear it, we would ask her all sorts of questions to hear her say her cute "Uh Huh"! But, this Christmas was definitely a mile stone. She finally pulled out the "NO" in her vocabulary.

She got a beautiful Barbie motorized car from the jolly ole' St. Nick. She loved it so much that when we wanted her to open her presents, she said "NO".

Instead, she wanted to fill up her car with unopened presents, the baby doll, wrapping paper and whatever else would fit in the car with her. Her intent, to make off with the whole bunch of loot and for that we said, you got it...."NO"!

It truly was the cutest thing I had ever seen. But, the sound of the word "NO" coming at you in a defiant nature should not make you laugh. Yes! We made the worst mistake ever, we laughed at it.

As her birthday approaches in 10 days, we wonder, if this is the beginning of the Terrible Twos, what can we expect for the Threes? Again, we should be careful what we ask for right? "YES"! Or before you know it, she will be driving off in her parents car and "NO" will no longer be in her vocabulary!

All the Whos in Whoville Really Knew What They Were Talking About!

Straight from the GREAT Dr. Seuss! "Standing Heart to Heart and Hand to Hand". As we gather on Christmas morning, we will give thanks. We will be grateful in our hearts whether there are gifts or not. Because the true meaning of Christmas comes from within each and every one of us.

This morning I am so filled with love inside that I can't even begin to express in writing just what the truly means. I was fortunate enough to be part of the delivery of one the the Christmas Playhouses, built by Salisbury Homes as it was given to one of the most deserving families I have known.

Their story begins with Dad, diagnosed with stage 4 cancer just a month or so after being laid off from his job. With three beautiful little girls to care for, he and his wife decided to move in with their parents. No insurance, no money and a heavy heart at the most celebrated time of year, Christmas. They don't ask for anything, they just continue to do what they can to get through this tough time. That's where the gesture of LOVE from Salisbury Homes comes in. They chose them to receive one of these homes, so that they could lift the heavy weight in their hearts and home for just one day.

As the gift was revealed, the children flocked to the house. One of them got inside and just did not want to leave. She was so enamored by all the gifts, she wasn't leaving! Their smiles were big, their hearts were touched, but mine was spilling over with LOVE for this family :)

May God Bless them and may they know that it isn't the paper, ribbons or bows or the toys wrapped up inside that we share, it is the Love that comes from the heart of each and everyone who took part in the moment that we left behind to keep them at this time.

"It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes, or bags!" Says Dr. Seuss!

So, pause for a moment this Holiday Season and feel the LOVE of the Season and wrap it around someone you love. It doesn't matter if there are gifts, it doesn't matter if there is no hoopla, just feel the LOVE and you will ALWAYS feel Christmas!

Woke Up On The Right Side of the Bed!

I Promise, I literally woke up on the right side of the bed this morning. But, as it turns out, just because you actually sleep on the right side of the bed, doesn't guarantee a great day!

The morning started off as usual, email, coffee, dressed for work and out the door! Somewhere between my bedroom and my computer, there was a short in the universe and what was supposed to be a good day, at the very least, suddenly changed. Facebook wouldn't cooperate, the coffee had grounds in it (I Hate that!), my hair wouldn't style correctly, causing me to be late out the door, which wasn't helped by the woman that was chatting up a storm on her cell phone in the car in front of me, as she decided to stop at a green light I really could have used! OH! and lets talk about the coffee! I stopped to grab a coffee (because I was already late) and got a cup with a defective lid. Yep, stain stick here I come :)

As I happened to find the most far away parking space in the parking garage (because I am trying to walk more), I was deep in thought on my way to my office and didn't realize there was a person behind me, I am sure he got an earful!

So, I am at my desk now, writing this down. I couldn't resist another lesson here. I can say without a doubt, every time I get in this mood and the day seems to defeat me before I even have a say, I can alter the universe with one important task. I write down 5 things that I am Thankful for. Yep, simple as that. The act of stopping to think about nothing but Thankfulness somehow outweighs the bad vibes in the universe and changes the balance of order in the day!

So, here are the 5 things I am THANKFUL for today.
1. I am Thankful for being able to find the humor in lessons of patience. I am pretty sure I really made that person behind me in the garage laugh so hard inside!
2. I am Thankful for simple fixes to life's challenging moments, called the Tide Stain Stick.
3. I am Super Thankful I only live about 7 minutes from work, or there would be some more seriously crazy posts.
4. I am Thankful for the peace and quiet in my office this morning so that I might enjoy this moment.
5. I am Thankful for GOD and his constant teachings, without which I would stop learning and that would be no fun :) Then what would you read?

OK! Now I feel much better. I hope that someday, when Mariah is having a bad day, she will take my "Thankful Advice" and it will turn her day around. Either that or she learns to sleep on the Left Side of the bed so she has an excuse for waking up on the wrong side of the bed :) Watch out Papa, Nana may try this too!

Let Go of the Brake and GO FOR IT!

On the way to the office this morning, I came to a stop light behind this car that had an obvious Chicago Cubs fan inside. From the license plate to bumper stickers, it was obvious, this is a CUBS Fan! As I waited patiently for the light to turn green, I studied the car's messages and saw that it was a woman behind the wheel.

Just as the light turned green, I took my foot off the brake expecting to be accelerating, and we did, but extremely slowly and I noticed that she didn't even take a foot off the brake but somehow drove through the intersection. What amazed me is that she was accelerating to go, yet kept her foot planted on that brake....I uttered, admittedly loud, "Just take your foot off the brake already and GO"!

I was frustrated, as I am sure anyone behind her would be. I only had another 50 feet to go before I would turn into the parking lot, but my level of frustration rose to temperatures that I hadn't seen in a while. In the heat of that moment, I stopped to think to myself, why would someone do that?

I remember when I first learned to drive, boy it was drilled into my head NOT to ride the brake. I also remember thinking, what does that mean exactly? I have to go slow, therefore I brake, right? My mom or dad would always preach this lesson. I can hear their words resonating in my mind when I drive, to this day!

So, thinking about this, I thought, what type of life must that woman lead. Just when you should be putting your foot on the gas, you choose the brake. Not only do you choose the brake, but you choose to substitute the actual action of going forward with such caution that you go nowhere slowly! Sounds like a metaphor in there somewhere. Now you are thinking about that woman aren't you?

My thoughts are about her today too, I am only thinking compassionate things now. I am Thankful for learning how to take my foot off the brake and I am going to make sure that I teach Mariah to NOT ride the brake too! I want my voice to resonate in her mind every time she holds herself back and watch her accelerate to heights I could only dream of!

Random Words With No Meaning!

I must confess, I occasionally ramble in words that no one can understand. I think it's under my breath, but inevitably, someone will say "What did you say"? Only for me to say, "Oh sorry, just talking to myself". It happens more often than you would think!

But, nothing tops the random words of a nearly 2 year old! You can't understand a word, but know that it is important information that we NEED to have. Just like last night when Mariah was telling her Dad about a toy that she was very passionate about. I couldn't understand her random sounds and words, but I know it was the most important thing she had on her mind in a while.



I want to speak in random words and sounds with such conviction! I just hope there is someone there enjoying it when I do and it is long before the senility sets in and people just chalk it up to my age!

The Phone Is Ringing! ANSWER it!

There is a little pink phone that has beautiful Princesses on it and if you press the right button, a Princess will say "Hello, It's Snow White Calling". If you see this phone, you only have one option, ANSWER IT, because there is usually a 2 or 3 year old handing it to you!

I know this, as I have learned a GREAT lesson from Mariah. If the phone rings ANSWER IT! As with my phone....she hears it ring and she has a big wide look on her face and says "Papa"? (Because to her it is always Papa or Daddy on the phone.) And she will do a little dance until you answer the phone. Then she will not let you have a conversation without her input.

The conversations goes something like this: "Dadda, meme, nana, papa, gg, baddabadda, baby, bbaaaabadda, da da." You know what that means right?

So, it comes as no surprise, when she isn't shoving the pink Princess phone at you to talk on, she is talking on it herself. Just like yesterday when she was sitting on the hearth of the fireplace, talking away while mommy and I chuckled to ourselves. I even heard her yelling at someone! I just KNOW it had to be Papa! LOL

Whenever our little Missy does something so precious, I try to embrace it and remember the little lesson. Here it is, "there are two rules to live by, Be Nice! and Always answer the phone when a 2 year old hands it to you!"

I Love Cookies!

I must confess, whenever I think of Christmas, I am instantly reminded of my childhood. There were cookies everywhere throughout the holiday season. It all began one day at the beginning of December when my Mother and Grandmother would gather in our kitchen. This was an instance of the more cooks in the kitchen, the better!

Thier book of recipes came out and the baking began. There was no counter tops that were safe. It was like a cookie marathon but without the finish line, it was only ended by who could either eat the last cookie or fell down from cookie exhaustion first!

Once they were baked, they were prominently displayed on a table in the corner of the dining room or kitchen (depending on where we lived) and picked at for the coming days and weeks. Friends of mine would come to my house just to have some of those delicious favorites.

I loved them all, Ewans, Canolis, Pizzelles, Snowballs, Peanut Butter, Snicker Doodles, Fudge, No Bake Cookies and so many more, it was not only a frenzy for the belly, but a feast for the eyes!

We tried them different ways, with anise, with rum, with fruit and more. If you could dream it, I am sure we made it :)

I don't know where, along the way, we slowed down making cookies. I really do miss it. Nowadays, I make my own assortment a little closer to Christmas that includes some of my husband's favorites, my sons and my own. I am sure the recipe menu will change as Mariah gets a hold of certain ones that she loves too.

Here's to looking forward to many more cooking making years with my Grand Daughter! ONLY now I won't make her do the dishes! Thanks MOM! (Thank goodness for the dishwasher!)

So Much To Learn About!

When I arrived home from my Christmas Party last night, Mariah thought that she would have a little story time with Nana. Now, mind you, she is not quite 2 yet, but close. She patted the couch until I sat down and she proceeded to read her book, as she knows it, page by page.

It is a cute new book with farm animals. She is learning so much so fast, it was quick to see just what this book meant to her. She pointed to several things, like apples and ducks and said them by name, but when it came time to see the page for the horses, she looked at me and shook her head and made a horsey noise!

I guess all the trips to the farm up the street to see the horses has really been fantastic for her. She and Papa have a thing, they love to walk up there and feed the horses. Of course she feeds them apples and carrots.

We have had more fun around these horses, it is just amazing how she relates and shares the story with me over and over again! Oh! She does a mean Cluck Cluck and Moooo too!

The Right Professional For The Job!

Someone recently asked me an interesting question. In fact, this is one I get often!

"How come I keep being told that I need a Realtor to buy a home? My Mom and Dad have bought many homes in the past and they can help me?"

To that I can only shake my head and think that we have still not reached the public on the things we do for them! Better yet, for all the things we protect them from!

So, while playing with my granddaughter, I thought about this. I know, why would I think of anything other than jibber jabber talk with Mariah? Well, I care for that little one so much, I just wouldn't want anything to happen to her!

I have been there and done that with raising my son, in fact, I pride myself in being able to detect certain things in Mariah, based on my experience as a Mom. Just recently, I told the kids that she had strep throat and they needed to get her to insta-care. When they did, they came home and told me it was tonsillitis. I was close right?

The point was, it was self diagnosis and I missed by just a little bit. The treatment can be similar, but the outcome certainly is not. In fact, because of her bout with tonsillitis, the doctor is seriously contemplating that she have the tonsils out in the near future. Didn't see that one coming! That kind of blind sided us. She is too young yet, but the time will come.

Now lets talk about that little home buyer and her parents. Well, they care deeply about her and wouldn't want anything to happen to her right? In fact, because of their past experience, they would know just what to do. BUT, if they miss, if they are off just a smidgen, the outcome could be dramatic. Perhaps they miss something in the contract that costs their daughter to lose the home during the transaction? Or better yet, they go all the way through the purchase, only to realize that the seller was shady and took advantage of them! Nah, that doesn't happen! Right?

Or sadly, she gets the home of her dreams. Mom and Dad help her and all goes well. Then 30 days down the road, she finds the things that the seller FORGOT to disclose that will cause her to have future "financial-ectomy"!

For Mariah's ailment, I recommend a Doctor, in fact a surgeon! For this young lady, I recommend a REALTOR, in fact one who specializes in First Time Home Buyers!

The outcome is the same if the right professional is called! I should know, I am a REALTOR!